A couple video stills from a new video piece. It’s titled I Made a Wish in the Kitchen and Got Lost in a Series of Thoughts and Didn’t Follow Through.

In light of (or gray of) the coming cold, I took a bit of nature, a dandelion, and essentially hastened its death in a dish of wine. But I had a purpose for this sacrifice.

I made a wish on the dandelion, as you learn to do as a child. But I didn’t trust the cold outside to take the seeds very far. So I went inside. A shell-shaped porcelain dish normally sits on the rim of my bathtub with no purpose. I gave it a purpose by making it an altar. I filled it with wine and laid the fluffy white bristles on the surface. A new kind of wish-making.

 

While dwelling on my wish, I began to think of traditional symbolism surrounding wine–blood, lust, sweetness, overindulgence, romanticism, a certain rich depth.  Then the dish of wine became a liquid heart. Or another reddish organ in the body soaking up nutrients. Here is where I forgot about my wish. It just slipped away, sucked down deep by the undertow of my consciousness.

You know when you get lost in thought and your sight literally gets blurry? This is where I went. My immediate reaction was to mimic the happening (reproduce, capture, archive, preserve, make tangible so I can physically hold on to the experience, make it live beyond my memory, and share).

So I recreated the event with my camera.

Some theorists may criticize the camera for separating the human from live, haptic, visceral felt experience, screens in front of screens in front of screens desensitizing us. But here I think I have let you see from inside my skull. Through my eyes. Because, in the video, the focus becomes blurry, then clear, in a rhythm, exactly as my eyes and thoughts did. 

 

The dish still sits on my kitchen sink, the lime green stem dried up and a deep purple stain. The seeds are hard shriveled black dots. Sort of like blood stains on an altar.

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